Well, if we’re on the subject of airline travel….
Two weeks ago I went to Houston and back. In fact, I turned on my radio on the way to MSP to hear the news about the foiled terror plot. (Great. Fabulous. Now I won’t get there until 2011.)
Oddly, I didn’t have much trouble at MSP, and I had even less trouble at IAH upon my return. Nor did I lose my luggage (and I am sorry to hear about my esteemed colleague Dr. Gossett’s problems). But you will all find it funny that, while I was going through security at MSP, my shoes “failed” during their trip through the X-ray machine.
I knew something was wrong when my carry-on bag (containing at least 150 pounds of metal — my keys, my glasses, my PSP (yes, Waas owns a PSP), my cell phone, etc.) came through immediately, but not my shoes. “Please step this way, sir, we need to run some further tests on your shoes.” So they took a piece of gauze, swabbed around the area my feet go in, and dropped it in some machine. The machine beeped after about five seconds, and I was apparently pronounced clean. “Here are your shoes, sir, have a nice day.”
But if I’d been arrested for unclean shoes, one of you would surely have come to bail me out, right?
Right?!
Anyway, I’ll try to make it tonight, but if not, though I have failed to find a recipe for cookies as good as I once knew how to make, I will come to the party with the best store-bought alternative I know of! — JW
Quoting Matthew Fisher :
> Yeah, but as expensive as the tracking would be for the airlines, > purchasing a piece of luggage made of sapient pearwood would probably be > even more expensive… > > See, I think that they should get some actual use out of the > drug-sniffing dogs: train different dogs to sniff different drugs and > then associate each major airport with a different substance. (Each > continent could fall under a different category: Asia could be > aphrodisiacs, Europe could be hallucinogens, and North America could be > painkillers, for example. Within those London could be, say, > Phencyclidine and Amsterdam could be LSD.) When each bag left its origin > airport they could stuff some of the drug associated with its > destination in an outside pocket, and then no matter where the bag ends > up they’ll know where to send it just by checking which dog barks. > Brilliant, right? And the best part is that they could make remembering > things easy by simply naming each dog after its associated city: > “Cairo’s sniffing crack, time to send that bag to Egypt!” > > PS: Of course the stalwart and untemptable nature of airport baggage > handlers would ensure that this system would never be abused in illegal > and unBethical ways… >
— Jack R. Waas Assoc. Prof. of Chemistry Bethel University College of Arts and Sciences 3900 Bethel Drive St. Paul, MN 55126 http://cas.bethel.edu/dept/chemistry/jwaas.html